ninja for hire.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

WoW Players WANTED
Average daily playtime MUST
be at least six hours

Good evening to all inhabitants of Azeroth. I would like to inform each and every one of you that on the Azgolar server, we are creating a guild full of the most talented players in World of Warcraft. Our guild name is . Why have we decided upon ? Easy...because it's a fact. Those that face us will soon realize that we are the best in the business at what we do, and that's destroying the opposition.

About Us
We are a large collection of friends and e-friends, 95% who have received various official Arena rewards and accolades, who have decided to lay waste to the twink brackets. We will devote nothing short of 100% energy towards this guild and we will accomplish each and every goal we set out. Almost all of our current members have 2500+ Arena teams. However, dominating the 80 scene can only be amusing for so long. Perusing the battlegroup forums has revealed that the lower brackets are quite competitive and exceptionally active. I expect nothing but the best from my guild. We will be buffed to the maximum each and every time you see us in the battleground. Not just merely alchemy consumable but raid boss buffs, among others. Each time you see us, we will make an impression. Do not take us lightly.

Do you want to be a part of the greatest collection of WoW talent and be a major player on the twink scene?

What we are looking for

We are looking for that special WoW player who devotes a majority of their time to World of Warcraft. Average daily playtime MUST be at least six hours or your application will not even be considered. Our usual playtime is 4 PM-12 AM but that is a tentative schedule and may change if I think we need more practice.

I will not accept "lone wolf" type players. You must be 100% dedicated to the team. Your individual success in a battleground is irrelevant. If you are not contributing 100% towards the guild's goal, then I will not allow you to queue for a battleground for three days. I will NOT have a guild member embarrass myself or my guild's name.

Second, we are not accepting TRANSFER players. There is a 99.99% chance there is something wrong with your character. I am NOT accepting imperfect characters into my guild. You will start from scratch with us. We shall provide you with the best equipment in the bracket. You will spend your days grinding as a level one, LEARNING about your class as each and every individual exp. bubble fills. There will be not one level where you don't learn something new.

Furthermore, every tenth level you will be forced to duel an original member of the same level. If your performance is sub par, you will be immediately removed from the guild, no questions asked.

Your duels are rated on a 1-10 system. Our council will observe your duel at every tenth level increment. If you ever go below a "5", you are automatically removed from the guild. We do not fool around. We are only looking for "the best in the business."

Furthermore, you will be asked to farm at LEAST 100g and deposit it into the guild bank once a week. We have a treasury officer who will provide me with weekly updates on who is performing their duties and who is not. If you fail to provide the guild bank with 100g for 3 weeks, you will automatically be removed from the guild.

We will be participating in the 29,39, and 49 bracket.

For the first 3 months, you will be on a probationary period. At any time, we can remove you from the guild without any questions asked. After the first 3 months, we can remove you but you are entitled to a meeting with our council to plead your case as to why you think you deserve to stay.

Upon your acceptance to our guild, I will email you a multitude of resources pertaining to your class, battleground strategies, our guild code of conduct and policies, and a weekly expense sheet. On Mondays you are required to fill out this expense sheet on what you think you'll take from the guild bank for the week. At the end of the week, I will reconcile what you took with what you wrote down on your expense sheet. If they don't reconcile and the variance is large, you will be removed from the guild.

Any of those who THINK they are interested, please email me your application, guild history, three contacts who know you, class you are most interested in playing, and if possible, a 30 second fraps video displaying how you control your character.

Thank you.

NO. I have nothing to do with WoW or this "advertisement" i found in a website comments section, and i never will have anything to do with WoW - I just thought while reading this how fucking ridiculous it all is. SIX HOURS A DAY???? Who the fuck or WHAT THE FUCK, plays for SIX HOURS a day?

1 comment:

Crispychickin23 said...

you know what this means!? The people in this guild have, NO life! HOW DO YOU KILL THAT WHICH HAS NO LIFE?!?!?!?